Mindful Eating
Dear One,
I enjoy food. I love food so much that it’s been a complete obsession of mines for many years — it’s what some would call a food addiction (if I looked the part, I suppose). Apparently, everything I was made to believe about food and the people who became addicted to food was strikingly inaccurate. The infamous words “you can eat whatever you want” had plagued my perspective of food all the way into my adulthood and I had no idea what my health was worth — that is, until I was faced with a health crisis in my early twenties. To be honest, even then, when faced with a scare, I did not realize the seriousness of that crisis or understand the importance of that moment in my life. This was likely because: (1) I was a young adult who had never experienced such trauma before, and (2) (most importantly) I was not expected, nor taught by the people around me to take better control of my health. Instead, since I had the appearance of a seemingly healthy person, I was continuously encouraged to ‘eat whatever’ I wanted, even after the scare.
Considering I was always active, whether from dance, sports, or simply working out, I truly believed my health was in order. At least two out of my five to six meals for the day would be balanced (to include fruits and veggies), so surely, I was on the right path to good health. I figured that scare was a chance happening and I would be ok going forward. To my surprise, that health scare was a warning for what was to come. One issue turned into another issue, which turned into another doctor for a new problem with a new medicine to be prescribed. I had barely made it to twenty-five years of age and felt like my life was no longer mines for the taking - it was the healthcare systems. I had no idea what to do, and apparently no one around me at the time did either - they told me to go see a doctor (which, to be fair, is what I would have told them as well because that was all I knew), and the doctors told me to keep coming back or go see another doctor. That revolving door of no relief led to anxiety, depression, hopelessness, distrust in the healthcare system, and more. (*To this day, I have to overly prep myself before entering a doctor’s office to ensure I don’t have a panic attack and run out screaming.) I was lost but knew something needed to change if I wanted to feel better and enjoy the rest of my twenties.
I started doing research about what was happening with my body and learned that most issues could be linked back to a person’s diet. As someone who was jokingly referred to as the two-hour eater because I would not let more than two hours pass without eating, I figured my diet would be a great place to start regaining control of my health. Let me give you an idea of a typical day of eating for me. This is not a joke. I repeat, this is not a joke. My day would look something like this — first breakfast: coffee and breakfast sandwich; second breakfast: entire fruit bowl (meant for multiple servings); first lunch (just barely after my second breakfast): Ruby Tuesday’s ribs meal; second lunch (which I likely purchased with the first lunch): Five Guys burger and fries (and maybe a milkshake to wash it down or a dessert); first dinner: chicken alfredo pasta; second dinner: porkchops and rice (or possibly a large salad if I’m still satisfied from the first dinner), and let’s not forget another dessert. (I know! I know - now.) I quickly realized my eating habits may have been doing me more harm than good. I decided to uproot myself, start over and create a “healthier lifestyle” (whatever that meant).
I thought it would be as easy (and quick) as turning on a switch. Well, it took nearly three years after uprooting myself to find my healthy relationship with food and four years after that to discover and explore what this new relationship meant to my life. Now, I can honestly say I love and respect food, while honoring myself. I learned how to eat mindfully with greater intention and purpose. I listen to my body better these days — I observe how she feels, I remember what makes her happy and try to repeat it, I make immediate changes when she tells me it’s necessary, and I don’t put too much pressure on her to be something she’s not. I tell her I love her and I am here for her regardless. Because of that, she returns the love by providing me vitality and energy each day, ridding me of things that may not serve me, and by supporting me unconditionally. This mutual love is how I have improved my health over the years, seen less doctors, and taken control back over my life. This does not mean I eat the perfect meals (or portions), have the strongest willpower, or even have the best health possible. It means I have found my happy place; I am content with how far my relationship has advanced with food and I plan to strengthen this bond for years to come. Why? Because my health is worth it!
Should you find some time to do the same, I wish you patience, compassion and love in that space.
Take care,
Kris
P.S.
Be mindful and compassionate to yourself and others. Health looks different on and to everyone. Size does not determine health - health does. Realize that everyone struggles with something, whether it’s apparent or not — we all struggle. If no one told you today, eat well - your health is worth it! You are worth it!
(Please note, the above is my experience/opinion and should not be taken as medical advice for your health care journey. Please consult a medical professional if you have any questions or concerns regarding your health. See Disclaimer.)
