Surrender to the Unknown
Dear One,
I find that my eyes see beauty over pain more and more each day. I am unable to determine the exact moment this changed, but I know it took several months and years of micro-assessing my viewpoints and biases. Many years of realizing I am heavily influenced by the collective perspective of my family, community, and ancestors. To an extent, I understand this is necessary to maintain the uniqueness of different groups of people throughout the world; however, when those perspectives began to dictate how I engaged with the world, I thought it may be time for a change. I thought it may be time to surrender to the unknown.
Yes, the unknown is a terrifying place; it is unpredictable, uncomfortable, and unconventional. I know what you’re thinking. Life is hard enough already, so why would anyone willingly venture into this territory? Well…What if this territory felt the most like home? What if it felt more comfortable than any other place you lived, and it welcomed you with grace? Would you dare to enter? Would you surrender to the unknown?
For me, surrendering to the unknown is a concept of accepting what is in the present moment, without judgement, and without expectations; you are letting go of ego to experience the moment for what it truly is versus what you want it to be (or what you were made to believe it should be). I would love to think that I am always present, but the reality is that I am always human — a constantly evolving human. A human that reflects both the good and “bad,” right and “wrong,” light and “shadow.” A human that is motivated and focused one moment, and uninspired and distracted the next. How is such a human supposed to remain present? How can I fully experience my version of life and living? I realized I had to surrender.
By surrendering, I was not giving up control or losing a battle; I was winning the war. I was lifting the veil of limitations and constraints so that I could fully engross myself in an experience that would blossom into the form it was meant to take on all along — before my judgments, before my fears, and before my expectations. The experience was allowed to simply be.
I know control seems necessary when facing the unknown, but it is not always practical. Sometimes you have to trust that all will work out and anything meant for you and your embodiment will find its way home. That is surrendering — the trusting, loving and supportive relationship between you and an experience. Just as anything else you want to perfect, surrendering takes practice. You have to practice many days, in different environments and with varied circumstances.
I recently had the opportunity to wholeheartedly indulge in this practice again and wanted to share that experience with you. One week ago, I visited the Grand Canyon in Arizona and felt an overwhelming sense of surrendering to the overall experience. It seemed to begin from waking that morning, to driving up the mountain, to walking the short path to the Mather Point Overlook, to finally gazing in amazement at earth’s creation over millions of years. I can’t explain what that experience did or meant for me; I think I am still processing.
At the moment I first laid eyes on the canyon, I remember instinctively saying to myself, “Holy sh**! How?” Then I took slow, meditative steps towards the canyon for a closer view, eventually landing cross-legged on the ground at the edge of the gate, staring through the bars like a kid in a candy store. Keep in mind, this is a standing room only, tourist, picture-taking hotspot type of venue. Sitting was unusual to say the least, but I had no idea what I was experiencing and felt the immediate need to sit, breathe, and surrender to the masterpiece. I noticed fellow tourists were amazed by the view as well; I watched them pause, slowly gaze from left to right, and then with the biggest grin, utter something similar to my first thought :). It was magical to see the world slow down and be present together. We experienced the Grand Canyon for the first time just as she was and had no control, nor did we want any, to change her; we simply wanted to be with her. That is surrendering to the unknown.
This is my territory. I hope to allow more experiences such as this one every day — inviting trust, stillness, and growth. Should you find some time to do the same, I wish you peace, love, courage, and abundance in that space.
Take care,
Kris
