Reconnecting to Play
Dear One,
If you ever wonder how young children are so open and curious to life, just watch how they experience it. Everything appears new and exciting, even if they've encountered it before. They will find joy in the details they missed, open themselves up to new interpretations, and resist judging the experiences. They are the masters of ‘beginner’s mind’ and reside in the land of wonder — free from expectations (a world adults typically forget exists).
By approaching situations with new eyes and freeing the mind of any expectations, children open themselves up to new experiences. Clearer mental space means flexible decision-making and opportunities for creativity, exploration and play. Adults can enjoy these concepts just the same as children do every day, but first, we must rid our minds of misconceptions about what qualifies as play and who can enjoy it. Of course, as an adult, you have more independence, responsibilities, and life experiences than a child typically has; however, these elements should not determine if you can partake in the same things that once brought you joy as a child. You, as an independent, self-sufficient, self-reliant adult, can make that decision — whether or not to engage in creativity, exploration or play. I, personally, choose to partake.
I believe play is one’s ability to engage in an unrequired activity for pure enjoyment, without distractions, judgments or expectations. What’s the typical difference between a young child and an adult at play — the adult is focused on pursuing the endgame (what’s the goal/what can be achieved), and the child is focused on being in the moment (what’s happening right now/how does the experience affect me in this instance). Children’s innate ability to play is the kryptonite/Achilles’ heel to adult’s daily lives. Human adults struggle with being present. We are always in a state of doing, whether that’s due to societal requirements or self-imposed duties, we have to keep busy. Other adult species (some of which are less advanced than the human race) seem to understand the concept of pausing, resting, and simply being. When my beloved pet dog became ill, he let my family and I know it was time for him to be still and let things unfold. Yet, we did not trust his instincts and wanted to make him “feel better.” He would very politely and firmly give us a look of pure disdain every time we tried to help him. In the 14 years we had him, we never experienced this (so this was unusual to say the least); however, it got our attention, causing us to let go and follow his instinctive cues. By doing so and letting go of our expectations, he became more at ease and at peace with what was unfolding.
As I reflect on that time, I realize it was the human adults that had difficulties accepting his transition. He, however, appeared to be ready and willing to accept the moment for what it was. Witnessing my dog accept his fate with no judgement gave me extreme solace; it allowed me to put my own fate into perspective. I started asking myself questions such as ‘if fate is inevitable, how can one control it?’ Better yet, ‘if fate is inevitable, why would one waste time trying to control it? Why wouldn’t one simply just be and let it unfold?’
As adults, there are some things that are inevitable — aging, suffering, and being party-poopers/ball-busters to the youth of the world :). Why do we waste our limited time worrying and stressing over uncontrollable or possible future events? Young children do not do that. Have you ever explained to a child that something will be better later if they just wait to see what happens? The child is likely uninterested because how they feel in that moment is all that matters. Yes, they may eventually stop crying, but that “later” you were referencing is not what closed the flood gates, it is their willingness to see a new perspective almost immediately. Just as our beloved pets do when we scorn them for something, leave out for just a few minutes, then return to a tail wag or affectionate lick on our leg. They didn’t forget (or even forgive us); they are just in the moment, grateful that their friend who had left has now presently returned to see them.
Human adults complicate presence. Of course, the daily life of an adult is more complex than that of a pet or child; however, if we opened our minds and hearts to the same opportunities and released any expectations of outcomes, we could experience more moments of play, and furthermore, joy. If joy was our first birthright, then play must have been a close second. It is our duty to live out our playful purpose. We can do this by intentionally and consistently creating spaces for play; these spaces can be any activity that brings enjoyment (i.e., engaging with games as children do; scribbling or drawing with no end goal in sight; wildly moving our bodies to an unusual song without the goal of keeping the rhythm). Whatever activity of play you choose, just be sure to do it unapologetically. You are not too old, too this, or too that. You were equipped with these tools at birth and they are always there when you need them. Give it a try and remember, the world is your oyster.
Best of luck! Wishing you freedom, creativity, and connectedness in that space.
Take care,
Kris
